A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

As each year comes to an end it is customary to look back at the events of the previous year. We would like to thank you all for the love, prayers, help and support we have been given during the past few months which have carried us through the dark times. Christmas is a time when we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ the Saviour of the world.


An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Saviour has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. (Luke 2 v9-11)

Ray, Averil and Jo would like to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

In Memoriam

The memorial stones to Elaine have now finally been placed in position.

The top one is a memorial stone on the Churchyard Wall in St Mary's Church, Denham. This is the church where she spent most of her Christian life. She attended the family service from her very early years sitting on the carpet in the aisle to listen to Adrian's stories. When old enough she stood on a box to read the lesson at Sunday morning service and later she joined the choir. When she moved back to Denham after her university years, she lived in a house belonging to the Church and was about to work part time helping Adrian the Vicar. 

The stone below is on her grave in the churchyard of St. Hieritha's Church in Chittlehampton, Devon. It is the church where we all worship and is not far from where we live.

As her gravestone says she was "Simply Awesome!"

Another Accident

Returning on Sunday from a short break we learnt of yet another accident on the A413 near to the Tatling End junction. Two more young women in their 20's died at the scene and four more are in hospital. My heart goes out to not only the parents but the family and friends of these young people. Once can be an accident two is a catastrophe but three is  . . . . . .

http://www.thamesvalley.police.uk/newsevents/newsevents-pressreleases/newsevents-pressreleases-item.htm?id=153413

Comment

The inquest on October 6th into the death of Elaine last March raised a number of points that I feel should be brought to the attention of the long suffering users of Buckinghamshire's roads.

Buckinghamshire County Council was represented at the inquest by a specialist barrister from Lincoln's Inn at enormous expense. His enormous fee will be paid by the long suffering rate payers of Buckinghamshire. 

Evidence presented showed that:

• There was a large area of standing water in the northbound carriageway of the  A413 for a distance of approximately 70 metres (240 feet).
• The water was 14cm (5.5") deep at the deepest part and it masked the LED road markings on that side of the road.
• Five of the road drainage gulley's where blocked solid to the grating with detritus
• Eric Meek, who is group operations manager for transport for Buckinghamshire (and is employed by the subcontractor  Ringway Jacobs), told the inquest that the drains between the gulley's were also blocked.
• He was also adamant that standard county council routine of once a year clearing of gulley's is enough to cope with normal circumstances. 

In recording a  verdict of death by misadventure, Coroner Richard Hulett said: “If anything had happened a second either way, we wouldn't be sat here."  I disagree with his summation because Matthew Bristow's car crossing into the opposite carriageway was not time critical. Had his car not hit my daughters and ended its journey at the verge on the far side of the road, it would have carried on through the trees at the side of the A413. The inquest could have dealing with more than one death! Three exceedingly lucky young people survived that night. 

Regardless of the verdict in the Coroners Court or that in any future courts , we know who is responsible for our daughter's death and are confident that Elaine, her family and her friends will receive justice they deserve in the appropriate court.

We would like to remind all concerned that no matter how meek or humble they might appear,  there is one Judge who reigns supreme above all others and before whose judgement seat all men (and women) must appear (without legal representation) to give an account of their lives and actions  (Revelations. 20:13-15). If anyone's name is not found written in the book of life, they will  receive no leniency in this court save from the mediation of One.

Users of the A413 in the Chalfonts

If in the past you have complained to the either the Police, Bucks County Council, Chiltern District  Council, or Gerrards Cross Parish Council,  or any representative of these organisations such as your local councillor  regarding the problems on the A413 please contact me by email giving as much detail as possible. My email address is raystacey@boltblue.com 

Inquest News Reports

If you follow these links they will give you details of what happened at the Coroners Inquest.

http://www.bucksfreepress.co.uk/news/8436279.Flooded_road_led_to_fatal_crash/

http://chalfontstpeter.buckinghamshireadvertiser.co.uk/2010/10/road-death-caused-after-huge-f.html

Today would have been Elaine's 24th Birthday

Elaine's memorial at St Mary's Church in Denham.Village.

Brina Marks who was on the Biblical Studies Course at Sheffield University with Elaine has made this video of her time at the  archaeological dig in Tel-El-Safi, Israel. You can download it from http://www.sendspace.com/file/829vuj 

Coroner will hold Inquest

The Coroners Officer has informed me that there will be a full inquest into Elaine's death on Wednesday 6th October at 1400 hrs at High Wycombe Magistrates Court.

No Comment - Yet!

The Police have just informed us that the Crown Prosecution Service is not going to charge the driver with any motoring offence. Neither are they going to pursue a charge of  "Corporate Manslaughter" against Bucks County Council. Of course I have much to say on these decisions and other matters. However, I cannot make comment at the moment as it may prejudice any future action that may be taken. Watch this space.

When We Remember

Elaine taught at Viking Primary School in London. They have a superb website full of information about the school. Looking through it today I came across the following page. It is a beautiful tribute to Elaine and she was obviously much loved by both children and staff . 

The You Tube videos are typical of Lainey.

 http://www.lgfl.net/lgfl/leas/ealing/schools/viking/Year2/Miss%20Stacey/

When We Remember

You can shed tears that she is gone
or you can smile because she has lived

You can close your eyes and pray that she’ll come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all she’s left

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her 
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her and only that she’s gone
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
or you can do what she’d want:
smile,
open your eyes,
love
and go on.

That is what we must all do now joyfully remember her with love, smile and get on with the rest of our lives.

 Thank you Viking Primary.

And the blind shall see

The organ transplant service has just written to us to tell us that Elaine's corneas have now been used. One was given to a 27 year old woman and the other to a 29 year old man. 

• Last year (2008-09) 2,711 people had their sight restored by corneas supplied through NHS Blood and Transplant (NHSBT).
• Last year, 2,075 people donated their eyes after their death but there is still a major shortage of corneas in the UK. Many more people would benefit from a sight-saving transplant if more eyes were donated.
• There is a shortage each year of approximately 500 corneas. The number of requests to NHSBT that cannot be met has increased owing to increased demand.

Have you registered your name on the NHS Organ Donor Register yet. Do it now by going to  http://www.organdonation.nhs.uk/ukt/

£5,000 Overwhelming Generosity

I have just looked at the amounts raised on the Just Giving Pages
Thames Valley & Chiltern Air Ambulance Trust   £1,932.00
Oxford Radcliffe Hospitals Charity                     £1,227.00
The Calvert Trust (including cheques off-line)        £958.00

So far you've have helped us raise: £4117.00 and with the inclusion of gift aid this is going to give a total in excess £5000. You can do an enormous amount of good work with a sum of this kind. We would lke to thank you all very much for your support and donations.

As Elaine would say "Awesome."

Easter Sunday - The Lord is risen - He is risen indeed.

Yesterday we interred Elaine's ashes at Chittlehampton Parish Church in Devon. It is a pleasant spot in front of the church on a sunny south facing slope.

In the service of celebration for Elaine s life we had the following reading:
Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going." Thomas said to him, "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?" Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14 v.1-6)

We look back on so many very happy memories and are sad at Elaine's passing but we all must now  look forward to the new beginning that Easter brings when we celebrate the risen Lord and his gift of eternal life.

“If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together. There is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart. I will always be with you.”

Transplant Recipients

We have been notified that Elaine's organs were transplanted as follows:
Her corneas have gone into the cornea bank for use when needed. (They can store corneas for up to 10 years).
One  kidney and the Pancreas was given to a lady in her 30's and the other kidney to a man in his 20's.
The liver was given to a lady in her 50's who has a grown up family. All are doing well and out of intensive care.
The heart was given to a lady in her early 30's who has a young family. She is still in intensive care and needs our prayers for a full recovery.

I have signed the organ donor register - have you?

In memory of Elaine

You can contribute through the JustGiving website and they will send your donation straight to the Charity you have chosen and automatically reclaim Gift Aid on all eligible donations, so what you give is worth even more.  We hope you'll join us in supporting these Charities.

The Oxford Radcliffe Hospitals Charity
You can contribute online at: http://www.justgiving.com/RayStacey1

The Thames Valley & Chiltern Air Ambulance Trust
You can contribute online at http://www.justgiving.com/RayStacey2

The Calvert Trust, Exmoor
You can contribute online at http://www.justgiving.com/RayStacey3

Thanksgiving for Life Service

We are going to have a private funeral service for Elaine attended only by the family. Afterwards there will be a “Thanksgiving for Life Service” at St Mary's Church, Denham Village, Buckinghamshire, on Friday the 26th of March at 1:00pm. The thanksgiving service is open to all who wish to attend and we would be delighted if you could join us. Please where possible wear cheerful clothing e.g. no black ties. Please join us afterwards for refreshments.

There will only be family flowers but we would be delighted if you could instead support us in making a donation in her memory which will be divided between:

           The Oxford Radcliffe Hospitals Charity
           The Thames Valley & Chiltern Air Ambulance Trust
           The Calvert Trust, Exmoor.

The funeral director is Walding’s in Uxbridge (next to Tesco’s) and If you wish to pay your respects at the chapel of rest you may do so on Thursday 25th March between 10:00 and 4:00. (Tel 01895 233018)

New life.

Elaine was a registered organ donar and has donated her heart, kidneys, pancreas, liver (in two halves) and corneas. We hope and pray that her gift of these organs to others will help improve to their quality of life.

If you believe in organ donation, prove it and join Elaine in saving the lives of others.

Would you take an organ if you needed one? Nearly everyone would. But only 28% of us have joined the Organ Donor Register. More than 10,000 people in the UK currently need a transplant. Of these, 1000 each year – that's three a day - will die waiting as there are not enough organs available.

Please help us turn people’s good intentions about organ donation into action by registering on the NHS Organ Donor Register at http://www.organdonation.nhs.uk/ukt/

A Tsunami of Good Wishes

We would like to express our gratitude for all the offers of support help and especially your prayers. We have been inundated with facebook postings, cards,flowers,  letters,  emails and calls. Your support and and prayers have been a great comfort to us all. We will try to reply to all of them in due course.

Home Again

"God does speak—sometimes one way and sometimes another—even though people may not understand it." Job 33:14 (NCV)  Ater we ask in faith for God's help and guidance, we need to listen for God's response!

Last night we returned home to Devon for our first full night sleep in a proper bed for a week.

We have many things to sort out and when all the arrangements for the funeral have been made we will post the details here.

John 10 v28

Jesus answered, "I did tell you, but you do not believe. The miracles I do in my Father's name speak for me, but you do not believe because you are not my sheep. My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand. I and the Father are one."

We and many other people have been praying for an extremely big awesome miracle for Elaine, but God has not answered our prayers in the way we wanted. We are weak frail human beings who ask for what we want and think is right but often we forget that he who reigns, our all-wise and all-knowing God, has a deeper more complex purpose in what he does.

We have been the beneficiaries of a number of miracles.

• The Good Samaritan who stopped and helped her and did not drive by at speed.
• The outpouring of support, love and prayer from the hundreds of people who knew her and loved her.
• The now visible effects she has had in her short life on all who knew her and came into contact with her.
• The dedication and compassion shown by the police, the emergency services, the nurses and doctors.
• The gift of new life she has brought to many others through the donation of her organs.

God will never let go of Elaine, she is His child and He loves her. God has given her eternal life, and she will never perish, and no one will snatch her out of his hand.

A child loaned

Last night while writing the entry to this blog the hospital rang and informed us that Elaine's condition had worsened. We immediately returned to the Neuro ICU and spent the last 24 hours by her bedside. This evening she passed peacefully from this mortal toil into the loving arms of the God she served and loved so much.

"I'll lend you for a little time

A child of Mine." He said.

"For you to love the while she lives,

And mourn for when she's dead.

It may be six or seven years

Or twenty two or three,

But will you, till I call her back,

Take care of her for Me?

She'll bring her charms to gladden you,

And should her stay be brief,

You'll have her lovely memories

As solace for your grief.

The doctors gradually removed her sedation and pain relief drugs today. We must now wait to see the extent of the brain damage. It does not look good as she is showing no reactions at all.

Visiting Times

We have had so many requests to go and visit Elaine. The Neuro Intensive Care Unit is a very special place and access is closely monitored and restricted. Even though it is visiting time permission has to be obtained to visit each patient individually and up to a maximum of two per bed. Because of numbers we have had to restrict visiting to family only because of the limited time available. We do hope you understand.

The God of All Comfort

2 Corinthians 1 v3-7

³Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. ⁵For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. ⁶If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. ⁷And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

Friday 5th: Miracles come in many forms

We have been told that after the crash a passing motorist went to assist at the scene. This Good Samaritan gave Elaine CPR and managed to resuscitate her. (Luke 10 v25-37).

The hospital has told us today that they are now reducing the sedative drugs to bring Elaine out of her coma. It will take a couple of days to complete the process. However, her head injuries are very severe and her vital signs are not good especially the pressure on her brain.

We would like to thank all the people and churches who are praying for us. The knowledge of your support is a great comfort to us.

Friday March 5th AM

Elaine had a quiet night but her inter cranial pressure is still unstable and keeps fluctuating.

On Elaine's wall by her bed she has a card with this quote from John 20-30,31

And truly Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book; but these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that in believing you may have life in his name.

Thursday March 4th

Elaine had her scan this morning and it showed no change.

They are going to keep her in the coma for a few more days, while they monitor her condition and injuries. The doctors will then review her condition which is still critical but stable.

We would like to thank all those who have given us so much wonderful support and are praying for Elaine's.

She needs lots of prayer and a very big awesome miracle.

I will post each evening a daily bulletin to keep everyone up to date.

Wednesday March 3rd

Elaine has a number of injuries but the most important one is the fractured skull and brain injury. She has been put into a drug induced coma to help the injuries to her brain recover.

Her condition is still stable but critical.

On Thursday morning Elaine is going for a brain scan so they can assess the condition of her head injuries. Please pray for her as she needs a very very big miracle.

Ray.

Tuesday March 2nd

On Sunday Elaine was involved in a very serious traffic accident and was airlifted from the scene to the Neurosurgical Intensive Care Unit at the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford. She is in the very best possible place for treatment. Her condition is stable but critical.

Please do not visit the hospital as it is immediate family only. The hospital has also asked me to request that people do not ring up for details as they cannot cope with the large number of calls. For the moment I will post regular updates on this site about her condition.

Sunday evening 28th February 2010

A three vehicle collision occurred on the A413 dual carriageway at Chalfont St Peter on Sunday evening. The road was closed until the early hours of Monday morning after a black Ford Focus Zetec crossed the central reservation and hit Elaine's Fiat Punto just before 8pm.

Elaine was airlifted to the John Radcliffe hospital in Oxford by police helicopter with serious injuries. She was operated on immediately and is in a critical but stable condition

The three occupants of the Ford Focus were taken to Wexham park Hospital with serious injuries and their condition is serious but stable. A black Ford Range Rover was also involved but the driver was uninjured.

PC Dan Carter from Amersham Roads Policing base said: “This was an extremely serious incident and was particularly distressing for people who were present at the scene.